Our vision is to encourage couples to have a continuing conversation about their successes in marriage and the good things they find in each other. By making these elements the dominant story of their marriage, they will ensure a healthy marriage.
Making our relationship an equal partner.
By Dr Kobus Prinsloo
About the Author
Kobus Prinsloo completed his theological studies at the University of Stellenbosch in 1979. Then he spent 28 years in the ministry on a permanent basis. Since then he has worked in various congregations on a semi-permanent basis. He has also worked as a pastoral therapist in this capacity. Already early on in his ministry he saw the great need for pastoral care. That inspired him to further his post-graduate studies in the field of pastoral therapy. He specialised in marriage and family relationships and completed his Ph D under the guidance of Professor Dirk Kotze at the University of the Orange Free State in 1999. This he did with the thesis ‘’A discourse on Narrative Pastoral Marriage Enrichment’’. Kobus is married to Erna and they have two children, Chrizelle and Jaco.
The principles described in this book, are the product of his research into the field of marriage enrichment. It is equally important to know how to form sound relationships, as it is to restore broken relationships. The premise of this work is to enable married couples to form healthy relationships and to maintain those relationships for the rest of their lives.
Reviews & Testimonies
Registered Psychological Counsellor
Through this book, Dr Prinsloo offers a very important contribution to understanding relationships. The most important contribution is the externalising of the relationship, the view that two people in the relationship are creating a third “person”, namely their relationship. The benefit of this is that the understanding of the relationship and the conversation about the relationship are removed from the level of the individual; the I and you. This results in the right or wrong of the matter, the so-called “truth”, no longer being important.
Of more importance, is the viewpoint of each one, their needs and values and understanding the impact it has on the relationship. How a good relationship can be constructed by both parties together, is discussed in a very practical way. The focus is on the start of the relationship (Marriage Preparation, Part 2), the relationship itself (Relationship Growth, Part 4), as well as restoration of the relationship (Marriage Restoration, Part 3) after the relationship has been damaged.
Thank you for this invaluable contribution, Kobus. It will most certainly also be used in my practice.
A Couple's Testimony
A few years ago, our relationship was filled with tension and neither of us felt valued. We were truly in a very negative space.
“Ons twee is drie”, the previous edition of this manual, however assisted us to again focus on the positive aspects in each other and took us on a trip down memory lane, that we again saw the good things in each other and could appreciate each other for who we were as individual people.
The concept of “the two of us are three” was a great revelation to us. For the first time in seventeen years of married life, we realised that there actually is a third person in our marriage, namely our relationship itself. This helped both of us to look at our marriage with new eyes and we realised that we should devote as much time to our relationship as we do to ourselves. Actually, our relationship should always be the most important person in our marriage. Since we have started applying this principle our marriage has improved so much.
It would be truly more than a worthwhile endeavour for any married couple to work through this manual. For us it was the best investment ever. We believe that it was a Godly intervention and that this manual was instrumental in saving our marriage. It enabled us to totally turn our marriage around and again become a healthy, happy marriage in which we both find fulfilment.
We will always thank God that he reached out his hand to us through Dr Kobus.
“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness …..” 2 Cor 3:18a
Comments from Facilitators
Anonymous: It was practical and easy to understand.
Dr Braam van der Schyff: The course was comprehensive and practical. The research done by Kobus and his experience made this course an enriching experience.
Dr Braam van der Schyff: Die kursus was geweldig omvattend en terselfdertyd ook baie prakties van aard. Kobus se navorsing en ervaring maak dit ‘n baie verrykende ervaring.
André Schlemmer: The course is a “toolbox” setting out the basic principles of relationships. It is informative, unique and enriching.
Anynomous: This is a new and fresh approach to address relationships issues. I always endeavour to apply new methods to convey difficult concepts. This book is definitely innovative in dealing with complex theories.
Practical value of the seminar
Anonymous: A practical, user-friendly book written in easy to understand language.
Anoniem: Dit is ‘n praktiese hulpmiddel wat ek kan gebruik omdat dit in eenvoudige en maklik verstaanbare taal geskryf is.
Dr Braam van der Schyff: This course offers a framework and structure for marriage restoration sessions. The well-researched model helps couples to grow, prepare for marriage or restore relationships.
Dr Braam van der Schyff: Die kursus het my ‘n raamwerk en struktuur gegee vir pastorale gesprekke in huweliksberading. Die goed nagevorsde model en ervaring bied ‘n model wat werk en baie prakties is om egpare te help om te groei, voor te berei of herstel in hulle huwelike te bring.
Ruth Schlemmer: This book gives counsellors a set of tools to assist couples in repairing relationships.
Ruth Schlemmer: Die struktuur wat aangebied word, gee aan beraders die gereedskap om met egpare te werk.
Anonymous: I’ll use it in my practice and empower others to assist couples.